Know My Name by Chanel Miller (#101 in 2019)
“We the victims are tired of expression, I expressed a lot in his [the judge’s] courtroom. The word we need is: acknowledged, taken into account, taken seriously.”
Chanel Miller, the woman who was once known to the world as "Emily Doe," made such a monumental impact in the movement against sexual assault when she published a letter to her rapist, Brock Turner, through BuzzFeed in 2016. Now, years, later, "Emily Doe" reveals her true identity in this moving memoir and uses the profound title of her memoir, Know My Name, to speak out and change the way society views sexual assault and the victims of such attacks.
Let's start with the title, itself. Chanel Miller titled her book Know My Name as a way to breaking her anonymity and stepping out of the shadows. This small act of titling her work in this way forces her attacker, and attackers like him, to have to confront the strong women behind their mistakes. I'm not sure I could even begin to stress how truly difficult it was to read parts of Miller's memoir. I recall the entire case very vividly because it resonated with me on a personal level years ago. Unfortunately, I've known more than one "Emily Doe," and it was painful to read the recollection of her rape, what led up to it, and the emotional tumult she experienced in its wake. She made a good point of mentioning that while her accuser is required, by law, to pay restitution, it doesn't change how her life is forever impacted by his actions. Miller proves that the suffering endured by a victim of assault of any kind doesn’t end with the passing of judicial punishment.
On a political note, Miller comments on how the inappropriate comments from our president have resonated with her and how his behavior is a negative model for men to follow. In her effort to connect with other cases of rape and sexual assault, Miller weaves a much more profound web in her commentary on humanity. Her reference of the president and other well-known cases such as that of Harvey Weinstein or Larry Nasser show society's need for change when it comes to how we address and counteract rape culture.
Miller's self-portrait shows the the emotional pain she endured and how she struggled with finding a healthful way to cope with her feelings and anxieties. Furthermore, she perfectly illustrates what it means for a victim of sexual assault to suffer the disconnect from society and the mistrust of others. She provides an example of how she was afraid to be alone at night. Some argued that she was not alone in her home when her attack happened, but she explains that her fear came more from the unconsciousness of sleep and what can happen when we're most unaware.
While some parts were graphic and difficult to read, others were touching and truly beautiful. It was a pleasure to read Miller's account of her journey to find her voice. I wouldn't characterize this as a coming-of-age story in that Miller was already an adult at the time of her attack, but this is more a coming-of-self story in that she sought a newfound sense of self and a way to make a difference. 4.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
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